Attention Dandies & Quaintrelles; You’re Better Than That.

The summer is upon us again, and the Washington heat promises to be as merciless as ever. This presents a problem for those of us who feel the need to walk around in style, regardless of the temperature. There are a number of stylish and acceptable options for summer footwear which I will highlight in subsequent posts, but for today’s missive I choose to point out some hot weather footwear the style conscious Dandy or Quaintrelle should eschew. Lets begin.

 

In recent years I have noticed, much to my consternation, more and more people wearing what look to be bedroom slippers in public. Gentle reader, I should not be the one who has to teach you why this is not done (that person should have been your mother). Wearing slippers in public is akin to wearing your bathrobe to work. It’s a sure sign that you have given up, and couldn’t be bothered with what kind of an impression you make on the rest of the world. And while it may be gangsta to wear your house- shoes to the swap- meet, we are a long way from south central.

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Another plague to modern footwear is the Croc. To put it succinctly, unless you work in a stable, a sewage treatment plant or a slaughterhouse, there is no need for you to wear rubber shoes. What’s worse with Crocs is that any nastiness you wouldn’t want to stain ordinary shoes will be more likely to get onto your actual feet. Crocs are like those jelly- sandals we all wore when I was a child; uncomfortable, sweaty, and a breeding ground for bacteria. Also, there is a reason no one wears wooden clogs anymore, that’s because they look hideous. And they don’t look any better when you mold them out of bright plastic or attach little charms to them.

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Finally, an issue close to my heart. For far too many people and for entirely too long, our society has labored under the misconception that flip-flops are the perfect choice for summer footwear. Well,America, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but they are not. In case you are not up to speed with what the rest of the civilized world knows to be a fact, there are only three places wherein it is acceptable to wear flip- flops: the pool, the beach, or the locker room. It’s simply gauche to wear them anywhere else. This is not a point of debate, it is simply fact. Regrettably, the entire country seems blissfully unaware of this, which has led to flip- flops in the workplace, at the bar, on the metro, even at weddings and formal events. While the former locations are just annoying and possibly dangerous, the latter should be unacceptable verging on criminal.

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Style conscious citizens must make a stand. This behavior has to stop, and it’s up to each of us to set a higher standard for ourselves, and for the rest of society. The change starts with you, gentle reader.

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